It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt

It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt

$19.95

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Size Guide
Size Guide


Size Chart

Unisex Tee
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Unisex T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm

SC Unisex T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Ladies Tee
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 17.25 in 25.5 in
M 19.25 in 26 in
L 21.25 in 27 in
XL 23.25 in 28 in
2XL 25.25 in 28.5 in
3XL 27.25 in 29 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Ladies T Shirt

  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 43.8 cm 64.8 cm
M 48.9 cm 66 cm
L 54 cm 68.6 cm
XL 59 cm 71 cm
2XL 64 cm 71.8 cm
3XL 69.2 cm 73.7 cm

SC Ladies T Shirt

  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Sweatshirt

  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 76.2 cm 78.7 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 83.8 cm

SC Sweatshirt

  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Unisex Hoodie
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Hoodie

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 73.7 cm 81.3 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 83.8 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 86.4 cm

SC Hoodie

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Unisex Long Sleeve
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Long Sleeve T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm

SC Long Sleeve T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Youth Tee
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Youth T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 40.6 cm 52 cm
YS 43.2 cm 55.9 cm
YM 45.7 cm 59.7 cm
YL 48.6 cm 63.5 cm
YXL 50.8 cm 67.3 cm

SC Youth T Shirt

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Men Tank Top
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Men Tank Top

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 40.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 45.7 cm 71 cm
M 50.8 cm 73.6 cm
L 55.9 cm 76.2 cm
XL 61 cm 78.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 83.8 cm
3XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm

SC Men Tank Top

  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Women Tank Top
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 14 in 27 in
S 15 in 27.5 in
M 16 in 28 in
L 17 in 28.5 in
XL 18 in 29 in
2XL 19 in 29.5 in
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

SC Racerback Tank Top

  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 35.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 38 cm 69.8 cm
M 40.6 cm 71.1 cm
L 43.2 cm 72.4 cm
XL 45.7 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 48.3 cm 74.9 cm

SC Racerback Tank Top

  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Youth Pullover Hoodie
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 14 in 17 in
YM 16 in 19.5 in
YL 18.75 in 23 in
YXL 20.5 in 24.5 in
     
     
     
     
     

SC Youth Hoodie

  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 35.5 cm 43.2 cm
YM 40.6 cm 49.5 cm
YL 47.6 cm 58.4 cm
YXL 52.1 cm 62.2 cm

SC Youth Hoodie

  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print


  • $0.00
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Estimated arrival: Place your order today (standard shipping method) to receive the product(s) within Jul 03 - Jul 10

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Jun 24 - Jun 26

Jul 03 - Jul 10

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The It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt you’re looking at isn’t just clothing, it’s a battle cry, a mic drop, and a full-throttle declaration of confidence. Buckle up, because what comes next is going to redefine how you see scalp real estate.

Hilarious, Bold, and Definitely NSFW: A Shirt That Owns the Joke

Introducing the It’s Not a Bald Spot It’s a Solar Panel for a Dick Sucking Machine Shirt. It’s a jaw-dropping, head-turning piece of wearable comedy. The phrase is printed in bold, varied fonts for max shock and max laughs. “BALD,” “SOLAR,” and “DICK SUCKING MACHINE” are highlighted in vibrant blues to make sure no part of the punchline gets missed.

It's Not A Bald Spot It's A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt
It’s Not A Bald Spot It’s A Solar Panel For A Dick Sucking Machine Shirt

This shirt doesn’t whisper. It yells. It turns what could be a self-conscious moment into a full-fledged moment of pride, power, and totally inappropriate humor. It’s a nod to every bald legend who decided to lean in and crank the confidence up to 11.

Whether you’re giving it as a gag gift, rocking it at a bachelor party, or simply asserting alpha dominance at the family BBQ, this tee isn’t for the faint of heart, it’s for the bold, the brash, and the bald.

Shipping Policy & Manufacturing Info

Our shirts are made when ordered. Due to the time variability of on-demand manufacturing, we offer 2 options for how quickly you want to receive your order. You can select from the following choices in checkout.

Standard Shipping ($4.99+)

  • Orders using this option generally arrive 5-10 days (U.S. orders) and it takes 2 weeks for International orders after being manufactured and shipped. (See notes below)
  • Manufacturing times for this option vary more around busier times of the year or during extreme circumstances such as covid-19 shutdowns.

Shipping and expedited manufacturing ($19.99+) (U.S. Only)

  • Orders using this option jump to the front of the manufacturing queue which can generally save a couple days (or more during busier times of the year).
  • It's highly recommended to use this option if you are ordering for a specific event or holiday.
  • Orders using this option generally arrive 2-3 days after being manufactured and shipped. (U.S. only)
  • Orders using expedited manufacturing will be printed when the next batch of orders are processed which can vary depending on seasonality and other factors.

Please Note:

  • We do not guarantee shipping or arrival dates.
  • Manufacturing during the majority of the year takes between 1-5 business days (Mon-Fri) however can take more than a week during the heaviest shopping times of the year. Extreme circumstances such as covid-19 may delay order manufacturing and/or shipping by an additional week or more.
  • All manufacturing and shipping times mentioned are just estimates and will vary.
  • Some of our popular designs may be pre-printed and may ship out faster than less commonly ordered designs/style/color combinations.

HAPPY CUSTOMERS, HAPPY US

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